Cannes 2026 highs and lows

Can you imagine a more beautiful place in the world to talk about films? This is with Uniqlo's Koji Yanai, at the Cannes Investors Circle Keynote at Plage Des Palmes. That is not my boat in the distance.

Cannes highs, work:

Saw, I think, 18 films (including those I saw in London and on links) and my fave was probably Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (although you won’t find more skilled filmmaking this year than in Fatherland). can't wait to see SO MANY MORE.

Hosted Screen International’s FIRST EVER festival daily podcasts, we learned a few lessons but I really loved hosting them and heard so many great responses from listeners. THANKS to anyone who tuned in or who told me in Cannes you were listening, that always boosted my mood. You can catch up with all episodes here if you missed them, they are short and sweet. And we’ll keep going with our weekly podcast dropping every Thursday - new one today in fact in which I talk about Cannes closing night but also got to interview friends-in-real-life Renate Reinsve and Marie Ulven (aka Girl in Red).

Met some great truly global producers, and impressive industry experts, moderating at Producers Network every morning.

Had a GREAT keynote and panel at Cannes Investors Circle -- I’m so happy to collaborate with the Marche to help curate and moderate those sessions. Had a truly inspiring nad eye-pening keynote from Uniqlo’s Koji Yanai and then a panel with Red Bull, Prada and my old mate Brian Newman from Sub-Genre (one of the great thinkers in the indie film biz). Really smart folks and I know the audience enjoyed hearing what’s going on with brands investing in film and how it’s come so so far beyond product placement.

Did a little masterclass about press strategies with an exciting cohort of rising industry folks at Cannes Makers.

Hosted a very successful Global Production Awards (winners here) - you can find he evening’s fun musical selections here, as selected by Screen’s events supremo Candice Duckett.

I had an, ummm, intriguing (?) interview with Nicolas Winding Refn pre-Cannes - here and here.

I did a lot of meetings, some just quick catch ups but others to talk about some promising new ideas for the future!

Enjoyed hosting two panels at the UK Pavilion -- one with the heads of BBC Film and Film4 (watch here) and one with the team from I See Buildings Fall Like Lightning (watch here).

Got to meet Bong Joon Ho for the first time! What a genius and a COOL dude. I got to talk to him about his first animated feature, Ally. Which is out in 2027 and is about a Piglet Squid. I mean, you had me at Director Bong but add in a PIGLET SQUID and I’m SO sold. Pathe selling, Neon has US.

Chatted with the charming Christina Jeurling Birro for her podcast Pop Culture Confidential, nice being the guest sometimes not just hosting (well especially when I’m in safe hands with Christina). My episode with her here. And I spill the beans why The Sheep Detectives should have been in Cannes, and how Her Private Hell wasn’t my jam.

After 20something years in Cannes, I finally discovered the La Terrasse des Journalistes at the side/back of the Palais - thanks to Christina. I NEVER KNEW.

Cannes highs, personal:

Swam TWICE. Water was chilly at first but so clean and glorious.

Ate five sitdown meals, not great when you’re in town for 30 meals I guess, but that is more than some years, and saw real friends at all of those. Even if I kept running away before dessert was served.

Danced. With Abandon. Mostly at the wonderful Nordic Party hosted by Goteborg and Haugesund. Also at the lovey soiree for I See Buildings Fall Like Lightning (I had to go home when I nearly pulled a leg muscle pogo-ing to OMD's Enola Gay). I’m not a good dancer but the older I get the less I care who’s watching.

Had some beers on two nights! Well, plentiful beers on two nights. Which was what the doctor ordered.

Tried Tarte tropézienne for the first time - how the F had I never eaten the local delight!?

Successfully avoided Caffe Roma the entire festival.

Showcased my handcrafted canine-themed hat at the Palm Dog ceremony. Danced onto the stage there, too. And met a sweet young girl who loved the hat and I was able to give it to her so I didn’t have to try to shove it in my suitcase home. Win-win.

An indulgent stock up on my annual treats from the wonderfully parfumerie Molinard.

And of course a beauty/skincare haul at the French pharmacies.

Learned to say no to at least FIVE requests because it was just going to break me to add in one more meeting, interview or task.

Was great to be back nestled in my preferred flat on Rue Meynadier, not the one up the hill with the smelly drain I had last year.

Remembered the great old-school patisserie Belliard to stock up just before I left for the airport.

Seeing FRIENDS even if for 20 seconds, it’s a wonderful community in Cannes when you are around YOUR PEOPLE.

The best feeling of coming home to the husband, the cat, and two unwatched episodes of Interior Design Masters. Bliss.

Cannes lows

Ate the worst food I’ve ever had in Cannes - and that’s saying something. Let’s just say I won’t be returning to “Dr. Mezze” anytime soon.

Forgot to pack my sunglasses (prescription) and instead packed 2 pairs of glasses like 10 years old that were in a similar case. D’oh.

Saw one or two films I thought were TERRIBLE and had no business being in Cannes.

Got literally manhandled by a beach club bouncer and pushed out into the torrential rain. Would be nice to get through at least one Cannes without strangers physically shoving you, right?

Paying entirely for my own Cannes as a freelancer with no expense account = Ouch. If I calculated hours worked for a month vs profit margin I’d cry. So I’ll just be thankful I love what I do and life's not only about money.

Noticed that one of the Kering Women in Film celebrations hosted a talk between two men!? Wait, what?

Festival insomnia is a THING. So hard to turn off the adrenaline after working 15 hour days.

Cannes comedown is also REAL. A friend told me even Deneuve gets the post-Cannes blues.

Showed up the wrong day (e.g. 24 hours LATE) for a meeting with an important person.

Someone I know on Facebook thought it was a good idea to ping me a message on Day 10 of Cannes to tell me I looked tired in the Day 8 Screen video. If you can’t say anything nice….

Spent a LOT of time at Pharmacie Menadier (pharmacist very friendly if you need one!), because of a bout of food poisoning (which thankfully was over VERY quickly) and also I got bit by some mystery insect on my neck at the Arcades cinema and  had an allergic reaction with welts all over my neck, face, arms and back for 3 days - if you saw me wearing long sleeves that was why. Oh, the glamour!

Some random French man tried to chat me up as I minded my own business walking home one night near the Port, and called me a horrible slur when I walked away. Zut alors! You can’t ruin my vibe, monsieur.

Ideas for Cannes 2027 and beyond

Try to say no more, so I have time to breathe and to say hello to friends and smile at people (here is my general apology for anyone I scowled at when I was rushing around). But I love everything I do so saying no is a struggle.

Finally make it out to the Isles Lerins for a swim? So many decades of Cannes and I’ve not done this!

Any private investors want to back me for any of the following genius ideas to make Cannes better for humanity?

·      Establish a REALLY GOOD, REALLY QUICK taco van along the Croisette. Can you even imagine how helpful this would be?

·      Build a series of clean, well lit, jasmine-scented, beautifully designed pedestrian-only tunnels that will run from the international village side to the other side of the Croisette over to the Rue d’Antibes or even along to the train station, etc. also running vertically so you can walk from Port to the Carlton in 6 mins not 30 mins. That way no matter how many gawkers, pushchairs (carrying babies OR small dogs), paparazzi, policemen, talent limousines and slow walking people are in front of the Palais, you could actually walk quickly anywhere you need to be. Like all those underground passages they have in Toronto. Would be lifechanging, n’est-ce pas?

·      Some sort of Cannes petting zoo, or an aquarium where we could go watch colourful creatures swim around, or at the very least a cat café that we could visit during the festival to lower blood pressure. With animal welfare in mind (!) and admission fees raising money for animal rescue charities.  Just seeing a few dogs at the Palm Dog lifts my spirits, think if what we could do with a whole barn full of animals! We can put it next to La Pizza and we can all talk to the animals while we wait for pizza.

·      Maybe this already happens -- and I really hope it does - but there is SO MUCH food waste in Cannes -- I’m not just talking about canapes left over from parties (although that also bothers me), but also all these companies that have huge crates of food in their flats or offices during the festival that they don’t eat and they leave town and have to simply throw it all out. I wish there was food donation points. I know some of this recycling DOES happens with office materials and stands and such, but really if all that leftover food could be spread to people who need it across the Cote d’Azur (not everyone is shopping at Chanel down there) that would be amazing. I felt guilty even throwing out one tin of lentils when I left. Somehow, not surprisingly, I ate all the chocolate and the madeleines but never managed to open the  lentils, ha!